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“We can’t do this without you, Mr. Schue. Hell, we probably can’t do it with you.”: Mattress (1×12) Gleecap

December 3, 2009

Second last episode before the hiatus, eep! “Mattress” might have started off a bit slow, but by the halfway point it was all action, all drama, and some fantastic scenes courtesy of Matthew Morrison. So let’s get down to gleecapping, “from the top,” as Mr. Schue himself would say!

Go ahead and JUMP!: The gleeks perform Van Halen's "Jump" for a mattress commercial.

We open with Will hanging with the soon-to-be-wedded Emma and Ken in the staff room. I’ve missed these two and their dysfunctional yet somewhat sweet relationship. But oh, Ken, you still clearly don’t trust your bride-to-be and Mr. Schue, do you? It seems he’s planned their wedding for the same day as sectionals, so I guess Emma won’t be there to cheer Will on – I mean, cheer the kids on. That’s right. The glee club. Ahem. Anyway, enter Sue, always the shit disturber, who informs Will that she convinced Principal Figgins not to include the glee club in this year’s yearbook photos, a supposedly noble gesture on her part in an effort to spare the gleeks the humiliation that follows after their group photo is inevitably vandalized. Will, always the valiant defender of his ragtag group of misfits, marches into Figgins’ office, determined to get the kids their photo back…even if it’ll cost him $325 and going behind his wife’s back. And the Will drama begins…

Rachel and Finn cozy up together during their rendition of Lily Allen's "Smile."

Anyway, turns out that most of the gleeks are terrified at the idea of being humiliated in the yearbook for years to come, so everyone, except for Miss Rachel the Diva, is quite happy to get a free pass! For the most part, this works, because Will’s only been able to secure a small photo in the book – one that’s only big enough for two “co-captains” of New Directions. But who will be Rachel’s trusty lieutenant? Most of the gleeks find excuses to get out of the gig, but Rachel plays to Finn’s innate sense of leadership pride (something he’s now sorely lacking since his football teammates no longer respect him), and he happily agrees to the gig. Cue Lily Allen’s “Smile” and a rather silly scene in which Rachel is supposedly teaching Finn how to smile for his photo. Although I love the original version of the song, I thought that the singing was only mediocre. And although I’m rooting for Rachel and Finn to get together in the end, I’m getting a bit tired of watching Rachel shamelessly throw herself at him – he does have a preggo girlfriend, y’know. Well, regardless, it seems Rachel’s womanly wiles didn’t have that strong of an impact on Mr. Hudson, because after an incident in the locker room where his fellow jocks try to deface his actual face, he ends up bailing on the photo shoot…thus leaving Rachel alone with the photographer, who is also a director, who’s filming a commercial for a local mattress store. Yes, it is all very convenient, isn’t it? And it’s a win-win-win!: The gleeks get a chance to become “stars,” and once they’re “stars,” they’ll never get taunted by their peers, according to Rachel. Oh, and the third win? We get to see an adorably awesome performance of Van Halen’s “Jump!”

But it’s not all fun and games in Glee-land, folks. Following the fun mattress jumping scene, we switch to Will searching through some drawers looking for a pocket square (how fancy!), only to discover Terri’s fake pregnancy belly. He confronts her, she breaks down, and the whole charade comes crashing down. Disgusted and heartbroken, Will storms out and heads to the school, where, as luck would have it, a huge stack of mattresses are waiting, sent by the mattress man as a thank you for the gleeks’ performance. Will unwraps one from its plastic and curls up for the night…but oh no, turns out you shouldn’t have done that, Mr. Schue. Apparently, if a glee club accepts compensation (ie. the mattresses) for a professional gig, they become ineligible to compete in an amateur competition (ie. sectionals). Damn that Sue and her freaky knowledge of the glee club rule book! Fortunately, Will’s clever enough to find a slight loophole, and since he was the one who actually opened the mattress, he steps down from New Directions, thus allowing them to stay in sectionals, but without their leader. Cue the gleeks singing Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile” over a montage of them prepping for their full-page glee club photo (courtesy of Quinn performing a little blackmail action on Sue regarding all the free swag given to the Cheerios that would likely disqualify them from amateur competitions as well), while Will sweetly yet sadly looks on.

Favourite moments, scenes, and quotes:

  • Sue: “Got myself a bit of an eye lift. And while they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts – wasn’t using them.”
  • Kurt uses some old vandalized photos of glee clubs to teach the gleeks that sometimes a little anonymity can be a good thing.

    Kurt giving the gleeks a history lesson on past glee club members and how after getting their yearbook photos graffiti-ed, they went on to have nervous breakdowns and become hobos. Scare tactics are effective!

  • Puck: “I got to go to the gym and load up the Guns of Puckerone for the football picture.”
  • Emma: “Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday.” Tons of love for Emma for sticking up for herself and her hubby-to-be, and basically telling Will to back the hell off.
  • Rachel trying to convince the other glee club members to be co-captain with her and their hilarious excuses. Mercedes blames Kwanzaa, Artie insists that he’s a follower and not a leader, and Brittany assures Rachel that the glee club’s photo will still be defaced because she’ll be the one doing it. Hee!
  • Finn: “They said they’d make me choose between the Hitler mustache or buck teeth, and I can’t rock either of those looks.”
  • Mattress man: “We here at Mattress Land believe that mattresses aren’t just for sleeping and fornicating anymore.”
  • The entire mattress store scene. First off, there’s the hilariously bad commercial acting by the gleeks, and then when Rachel suggests that they “perform” in the ad instead, we get the fantastically fun performance of Van Halen’s “Jump.” Puck and Mike Chang doing awesome flips! Artie sitting in the corner bopping with a sign that says “JUMP!” The girls laying on the bed kicking their feet! Mercedes running between the mattresses and screaming all “chocolate thunder” style! Everyone’s heads popping up from behind the mattresses! Artie being bounced on the bed! All of them just look ridiculously adorable and like they’re having the time of their life, and really, me blabbing on about it has made you want to watch it again, hasn’t it? Seriously, did anyone not love this scene?!

  • The fantastic contrast of switching from the “Jump” scene to the Will/Terri baby drama scene. Matthew Morrison and Jessalyn Gilsig were both phenomenal in this scene and my mouth gaped open the entire time. Most heartbreaking dialogue? Will: “I should be allowed to feel good about myself!” Terri: “Who are we kidding, Will? This marriage works because you don’t feel good about yourself.” Will: “This marriage works because I love you.”
  • The return of Sue’s journal! Also, Quinn’s total kickass-ness. Although she was less of a focus in this episode, her determination to get back on the Cheerios, her blackmailing of Sue, and then her ultimate decision to not re-join the squad after all, ’cause in glee club she feels accepted and wanted? Completely fantastic.
  • Finn: “We can’t do this without you, Mr. Schue. Hell, we probably can’t do it with you.”

Again, I think this week’s episode started off somewhat slow, but oh boy, did it ever pick up! I can’t believe that the gleeks are going to sectionals without Will – they need him! Will made these kids what they are today! I loved seeing the baby drama between him and Terri finally come out though. Does that mean Quinn’s big secret will come out next week? Eep! How excited are you all gleeksters for next week? Can it be Wednesday now?!

Next week: Sectionals are finally here! And oh yes, Sue did indeed leak the setlist, ’cause there are other glee clubs doing their numbers! But wait, Emma’s at the competition? Shouldn’t she be at her wedding? What’s going on here?! OH EM GLEE, I CAN’T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!

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