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“Never let anything distract you from winning. Ever.”: Hairography (1×11) Gleecap

November 26, 2009

Hey Gleeks, want to know what "hairography" is? Well, behold the girls of Jane Adams Academy and your inspiration for the rest of tonight's show.

Distractions, flashyness, smoke and mirrors. All these words mean the same thing, and on this week’s episode of Glee, that thing is called “hairography.” This week’s episode opens with Will thinking that Sue is leaking his setlist to their competition for sectionals, and so he pays a visit to the glee club coach at Jane Adams Academy (played by Eve). After learning that the underprivileged girls at Jane Adams don’t have an auditorium for practice sessions, Mr. Schue invites the girls to practice at McKinley, thinking that the New Directions club will benefit from a sneak preview of their competitors. And oh my glee, what a sneak preview they get. The Jane Adams girls wow our gleeks with a glitzy, over-the-top performance of “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child, and Mr. Schue decides that his club needs to step up their game and add some more glamour to their setlist. This means wigs for the boys, lots of hair-shaking, and (another!) mash-up, this time of the title song from the musical Hair and Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s “Crazy In Love. And while the performance is somewhat hilarious, Will quickly realizes that it’s also rather ridiculous and that his kids don’t need gimmicks – a realization that’s even more cemented in him after the Haverbrook Deaf Choir (another competing school, who demanded their own scrimmage in the name of fairness) performs an absolutely beautiful singing/signing version of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” The New Directions glee club is talented without the showbiz glitz and glamour, and so Will scraps the hairography from his setlist and fills it with a sweet and honest performance of Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” with the lovely Tina C. on lead vocals.

Terri gives Will an old car in hopes of kindling his supposed grease monkey tendencies...and distract him from the fact that she's totally not pregnant.

In other storylines, hairography continues to run rampant. Everywhere. Hairography #1: Quinn decides that she wants to give Puck a fair chance at trying his hand at being a daddy but needs Finn to be distracted first, so she enlists Kurt to give Rachel a sexy makeover. Hairography #2: Quinn tells Terri that she’s considering keeping her baby, and thus Terri and her sister Kendra arrange for Quinn to babysit Kendra’s terror children to prove how difficult raising children can be. Hairography #3: Will keeps trying to get it on with his wife, and so to distract him, Terri buys him an old car to spend all his free time fixing up. And in the end, what do we learn? Hairography always fails. Except when it still kind of works, that is. Because even though Kurt sabotaged Rachel’s makeover because of his own crush on Finn, Finn still rejected Rachel and by the end of the episode the rhyming couple are all lovey-dovey again. And because even though Quinn and Puck totally rocked (and I mean, rocked, because Quinn’s rendition of Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” was fabulous) their babysitting gig, it turns out that Puck was sexting (that’s sexy texting, as Santana nicely points out for us not in the know) with Santana the whole time and is actually, well, still a pig, and so Quinn decides to still give her baby to Terri so that the child will have a good father. And because even though Will totally loves the car Terri gives him, he’s too determined to be a good daddy so he buys a hideous wood-panelled van to safely drive their baby around in. Okay, so maybe not all of Terri’s plans worked out, but it’s Terri, so who cares.

Favourite moments, scenes, and quotes:

  • The complete insanity of the Jane Adams girls’ performance of “Bootylicious.” Hairography, indeed! The slow-motion hair waving parts were a great touch. Also, I loved when Finn starts clapping after their performance and Quinn angrily pulls his hands back down.
  • Quinn: “I’m starting to realize that what I need right now, even more than looser pants, is acceptance.”
  • Kurt: “Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.”
  • Kurt to Rachel: “Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room with you, especially this one which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobby come to hook up.”
  • Finn being totally stunned over Rachel and her boobs when she walks through the halls post-makeover in a dress that clearly must be breaking dress code rules.
  • Puck: “The usual: I was gonna stand outside the 7/11 looking depressed until someone buys me beer.”
  • Rachel goes from sweet Sandra Dee to sexy Sandy in her makeover move for Finn.

    “You’re the One That I Want” reprise in Rachel’s bedroom! Finn’s just as nervous as he was the first time, and it’s adorable to hear him tell her that he likes how she normally looks, sequin legwarmers and all.

  • The entire babysitting scene. The kids being psychotic while Puck and Quinn are tied to the chairs, Puck smacking one of the kids in the head when getting them to listen, and, of course, Quinn’s sexy, sweet, and super heart-felt singing.
  • The back-to-back confrontations: Rachel vs. Kurt and Santana vs. Quinn. Rachel and Kurt realize that they’re both only at best a second place choice for Finn, and Santana reveals her naughty relationship with Puck. Also, killer line from Santana to Quinn: “Also, asking someone to babysit with you is so nineties.”
  • The deaf choir kids signing about how absolutely crazy the gleeks look performing “Hair/Crazy In Love.” Agreed!
  • The deaf choir and the New Directions crew doing a joint performance of “Imagine.” This was simply beautiful. When Mercedes went up to join them I got chills, and it was so sweet watching the gleeks try to follow along with the sign language. This just made me ridiculously teary-eyed. A powerful, wonderful scene.
  • Quinn hugging Mr. Schue after telling Terri that she'll give them her baby: One of the sweetest moments of the episode.

    Quinn hugging Mr. Schue after she decides to give her baby girl to Terri so that the child will have a good father.

  • Quinn to Finn: “Can we be in love again?” Normally I’m all about Finn and Rachel getting together, but this scene between Finn and Quinn was much too sweet and I think I might be changing my mind…
  • Miss Hitchens (Eve) to Sue: “Who do you think I am?” Sue to Miss Hitchens: “That’s a very good question since I’ve forgotten both of your names.”
  • The perfect “True Colors” performance. What can I say? I love the awesome group numbers. This was lovely: just singing, no distractions. Sitting on the stools, wearing different “colour”ed shirts. The message, the song, and the fantastic Tina C. taking the lead! And, as always, the awesome significant looks shared amongst all those involved in the messed-up relationships these gleeks have.

With no gimmicks and no distractions, the gleeks do a beautiful performance of "True Colors."

Y’know, I wish I had counted how many times the word “distract” or any variations of it were said in this episode. Overall, I thought that this week’s episode drilled the theme home a little too hard and found that it, uh, distracted, from the great musical numbers (“Imagine” and “True Colors”) and some fantastic character development (Quinn simply blew me away this week). Also, what was the point of having Eve guest star? She was barely in the episode and really didn’t bring anything interesting to the table. This definitely wasn’t one of my favourite episodes thus far, but there were still some amazing moments. What about the rest of you, gleeksters? Am I being too picky, or did you find this week to be slightly off base as well? Let me know what you thought in the comments!

Next week: The glee kids try to up their popularity after getting cast in a mattress commercial. Yup, that means jumping around on mattresses while singing Van Halen’s “Jump.” Fun episode, ahoy!

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